What I learned from Dr. Avrum Weiss: A reflection on gender, connection, and the quiet work of healing relationships

My preparation for this week’s episode of "Different facets of happiness" details the remarkable outcome of an interview with Dr. Avrum Weiss. Dr. Weiss is a psychotherapist, an author of 4 books and numerous professional publications, and has spent years unpacking the emotional complexities of gender, relationships, and communication. Our conversation is unlike anything that I have previously broached on the show. It challenged me and most unexpectedly, it offered me a practical and new way by which to both see and speak to the man I love.

What we talked about

Dr. Weiss and I explored how cultural conditioning and gender socialization shapes the way men and women relate to each other emotionally. He explained that what often looks like male detachment or defensiveness is, in many cases, a deep discomfort with vulnerability- a lack of emotional practice rather than a lack of desire for connection. One of the most eye-opening insights is his explanation of how boys are conditioned through competitive play, while girls are groomed for emotional attunement. This creates what he calls an “away game” for men in relationships-a space where they feel unskilled, overwhelmed, and sometimes afraid.

The Academic and the Human

Dr. Weiss brings both clinical wisdom and compassionate humanity to this topic. He speaks about the isolation of men, the generational shifts in masculinity, and why so many men feel responsible for their partners happiness - not for control but for fear of being inadequate.

He also reminded me (and all of us) that emotional communication is not instinctual — it’s learned. And like any skill, it can be nurtured with patience, presence, and a slower, more relational approach.

What I’m Taking Into My Own Life

This conversation didn’t just inspire me intellectually — it gave me tools. Tangible ones. Here’s what I’m committing to:

    •    Approaching emotional topics more slowly, with less urgency and more curiosity.

    •    Hugging my husband, and sharing this new perspective on what it means to grow together emotionally.

The Interview Drops Today

This episode is honest, healing, and hopeful — whether you’re in a relationship, raising a son, or navigating how gender shows up in your life. I truly believe it will spark important conversations.

Mark your calendar: The full interview with Dr. Avrum Weiss drops Monday morning on "Different Facets of Happiness".

Learn more about his work at dravrumweiss.com

He even offered to answer listener questions via email — generous, right

Final Thought

Dr. Weiss said something that’s still ringing in my ears:

“Men aren’t afraid of women because they’re being controlled. They’re afraid of being seen.”

That landed deeply.

And it reminded me that happiness isn’t about fixing anyone.

It’s about making enough space for everyone to feel safe, seen, and emotionally human.

- Jackie Denise